Eating my Feelings

Since I read the article from the Candida Crusher website, all those words are stuck in my mind and all makes a perfect sense. Sometimes I feel trapped into my dieting, my overweight, my cravings, my hormones, my anxiety and depression. It’s true, I’m annoying the hell out of people, my boyfriend might think I’m crazy by now, my friends don’t want to hear me anymore and even my mother is often out of patience with all my struggles dieting. It’s a never ending story this one, and maybe the Candida Crusher is right, maybe my biggest problem is not the Candida, but it’s just me.
I feel I’ve stopped living a normal life since such long time. I don’t enjoy things anymore in the same way, because my mind is always around food, thinking about my weight, calories, sugar and so on. I really cannot live in this way for long, I need to enjoy life and everything will come together. I’ve been missing the gym for so long, every day I tell myself to go and every day I don’t. It’s a vicious circle.
I would love to go away in one of those tropical retreats where I can do a prolonged Water Fast doing nothing all day, just resting and enjoying the sun. I would like for the days to go, for my extra pounds to go away fast, but everything requires time and patience.
Today I have a clear understanding of what anxiety is to me; I always thought I should feel a sort of panic inside, a screaming me trapped into my head, often I thought my anxiety symptoms were only the heavy breathing ones, but not today. Today I felt for 2 seconds, while sitting at my desk in the office, a pure anxious feeling coming, it lasted only 2 seconds but it was clear that I was going to get worried and depressed about….something, I instantly thought about the pills my mom gave me for when I feel very anxious and depressed.
I want to go to the gym today, I’m sure exercising will help me a lot with my mood. The re-start will be very hard I know, I’ve been slacking on my workouts since a while now, so I won’t have the strengths to keep up with a whole class, but I need to start somehow.
We should never get food be our main problem, I don’t think it’s normal. It’s like food is my boyfriend, I think more of it than my actual man! Set yourself free; keep always in your mind that eventually food and dieting will annoy you so much that will become secondary to everything else.