Wednesday 29 June 2016

Are you really ready to lose weight?

I've been thinking lately how important is to be in the right set of mind when starting a diet, not just the HCG diet but any diet. Motivation and determination is essential, to avoid failures, frustrations and mental cravings. I wasn't ready for my Round 2 with HCG - I think after coming back from my vacation, I rushed on starting again the protocol without not even asking myself if it was the right time – I just wanted the weight off.
For me food is my obsession, and although I rationalize everything in a logical way, food it's still illogically controlling my actions, my thoughts and my deepest desires – every-single-day.
I read a lot online about eating disorders, watched videos of people confessing their food obsessions, I know I have a problem, I don’t feel ashamed to admit to myself or anyone that my relationship with food is not normal, my issues are clear, just not easy to resolve.
What I do not believe is true in my case, is the rejection of my body; sure I’m overweight and I would like to lose weight but I think I’m beautiful anyway. I’m pretty even with my chubby muffin tops. But being appreciative of our bodies does not mean that we stop trying to be more in control with our health, our weight. Why has to be so bad even just talking about dieting when dealing with an eating disorder? Why everyone has to convince me that I should not lose any weight whatsoever, I should accept myself like I am - right now and be happy for the rest of my life? I am happy when I am in control of my diet. I noticed that if I don’t have any specific diet plan during my days….I eat everything I want, or better saying: I overeat with anything I crave. And I usually crave a lot sugar.
I tried many times to practice the rule: eat only when hungry, it doesn’t seem working for me, since I’m always hungry! I don’t recall last time I felt really full or satisfied after a meal, mostly because I try to avoid carbs and eat more proteins, so after one hour or so I feel hungry again….starving again.

So my advice is: do not start any diet until you’re 100% ready to be fully committed to it, because if you lose faith in a diet/protocol – it will never work again for you. I f we cheat once we will likely do it again.

Tuesday 28 June 2016

HCG Diet - Round#2 FAILED!

It's almost painful to admit, but my Round #2 of HCG was, this time, a complete failure. I read here and there by other HCGers that this is "the curse of the second round"!
I'm thinking that I was just not ready to start again a round. I came back from my vacation with extra pounds yes but the deal-breaker this time was being back on my former binge eating disorder. That is unforgiven, my eating disorder throw me back into my dark side of the dinner table; it created inside me all those unspeakable food-desires that I cannot control in any way.
And here I am with all these pounds, struggling on what to do, on how to start again the HCG Diet with good intentions, with right motivations that could bring me back where I was, before going on vacation.
Oh man, I wish I knew then what I know now! Never EVER EVER again in an all-inclusive resort! Those places are a public attack to anyone weight's management control. You cannot resist, everything tastes so delicious, I was harmless against it… nevertheless I blame only myself, because – inside- I knew I would let my repressed-hunger be stronger than my food discipline.
I went to my doctor a couple of times, to understand why I was feeling so weak lately, why the lack of concentration or those huge cravings. But, as I expected, they said everything is fine, everything is just inside my head…oh WTH I say.

I've already received another vial of HCG but my family doctor told me that my B12 is extremely high and I should not use, so now again starts the Bacteriostatic Water hunting game! I just hope this time I won't waste the HCG vial with my weakness.