My first week on Maintenance

I'm almost at the end of my unofficial Maintenance Program, yesterday I had my single weekly injection and today my weight was somehow less than what I was expecting, could this be connected with my injection? I was happy for my weigh-in anyway.

I'm not really following the Maintenance Program to be honest; I'm still more towards the strict Diet with an open mind on my vegetable intake. Saying unlimited vegetable does not seem realistic for me, I don't think eating 5 avocados a day or 2 Kg of zucchini will help maintaining my weight, quite the opposite. Everything should be in moderation and I think they should have a limit for the vegetable even during the Maintenance Program, maybe increasing it with the weeks but not let people go nuts eating Dill Pickled or cucumbers all day, and trust me when you've been on a Diet for so long you want to eat whatever it's allowed to.

Yesterday I had a couple of concerns to tell to the nurse, since I went down with my Potassium I'm experiencing dizziness and I had light headache for the whole weekend. Asking the Dr. Bernstein doctor is pretty much useless; he comes back to me always with the same answer/question: why don't you ask your family doctor of why you have this dizziness, headache, weakness feeling... Why are you here exactly? And why am I even talking to you? Those would be my questions to him.

I went downstairs in the PATH today to look for some herbal teas and I finally found a whole package of my Celestial Black Cherry Berry Herbal Tea, I use to find it only in a multi-flavours package, now I've the whole deal, I also purchased a full package of blueberry herbal tea from the same brand. I'm getting addicted to these herbal teas and they are delicious, I don't really need anything else to drink in the morning, well actually through all day, they help me a lot with my desire of eating a snack or something.

I decided to go for brunch this coming Saturday as well, I am actually thinking to go for brunch every Saturday from now on, if I don't see sensible weight gain during the week, I'd like to be always in the 53-something Kg for my weight and keep it to this level for the whole Maintenance Program and obviously even after. This is the weight where I feel more comfortable with. I thought if I can manage to have this weight for the whole week I can reward myself with an unhealthy brunch with French toast, Pancakes and sunnysideup eggs with a cup of coffee!

Eating healthy

Eating healthy is definitely now my lifestyle choice, not just because I'm forced to stick with my weight but because I enjoy it. I love my salads, I love my Jell-Os and my cinnamon warm apple, I don't want to give up my healthy cooking habits for a double cheese-burger and French Fries, my stomach does not like it an neither do I.

I'm going to buy again the Ketostix and try to go back into ketosis to consume the fat that I gained with my sweets. It's clear that those sugar could not be processed properly by my body and it will be stored as fat, since I don't want that I'll try again to get rid of it going into ketosis. This morning I could already see my belly increased! No!

Today I'm supposed to start officially my Maintenance Program, but I won't, I might start during the weekend with the lower dosage of Potassium, without being in ketosis apparently, it's not good for my heart. I decided that I will continue with the strict Diet till I reach again my goal of 53.5Kg, after that I will eliminate one fruit from my servings and eat a bit more vegetables. Just this new habit, for sure, will increase my weight I know, I like too much zucchini or bok choy to resist of an unlimited temptation! 

My Birthday on Diet

So my birthday passed, with 1 more Kilo on my waist line. As I thought I gained 1Kg in 1 day for the chocolate brownies, my marshmallow square and the amazing dinner I had at night; totally worth the extra pounds but not happy about it. When you struggle so much to lose weight, you really don't want to do all over again. But at the same time I think: I want to have a normal life, I want to eat healthy but sometimes it's nice to go to a restaurant for a fancy dinner or a brunch. How can I manage to have both? Well I don't have a perfect answer for that. The only thing that comes in my mind right now is the gym.

For me the only way to manage the extra calories that I want to have in my life, it's consuming all – or almost all - working out. The reality is that muscles consume calories even when you sleep, when you walk, all the times, the more I will build muscles the more my metabolism will increase and my calories consumption will be higher. I don't want to give up too many things in my Diet or I won't stick with it, is that simple.

I had almost all week many moments where I felt very weak, due to my birthday excitement coming up, the idea of ending my Diet, I'm not sure exactly why but I had way too many extra chocolate protein bars in these days.

Yesterday I was looking forward to go back to my salad, yes because having the first sweet – on my birthday – was less enjoyable than I thought. I went to Starbucks to buy the Double Chocolate Brownie that I use to eat, I added an extra Marshmallow square that I like so much. After having my brownie my stomach felt funny, noisy, I didn't feel good at all. It was like a sugar-reaction from my body complaining to such unhealthy delicious food. It did happen something similar when I had a Dr. Bernstein protein bar once, but I didn't think it was for the processed-sugary food itself. 

My last Double Injection

Today I had my last double injection before starting my Maintenance in 2 days. I'm satisfied with my results beyond the expectations I've to say it.

Tomorrow is my birthday so most likely I'll gain 2Kg just with my double chocolate cheesecake that I planned to have, and something else more with the Italian schiacciata that I'm dreaming to eat since days. Strangely I'm looking forward more to the schiacciata than my chocolate birthday cake.

I've been having a bit more protein in the past few days, an extra protein bar or my portions a bit more than the allowed amount. I can't' believe I'm saying it, but I don't want to lose any more weight for now, plus this constant dizziness, lack of energy and headache is killing me. The doctor suggested me to have an extra protein serving for my constant feeling of hunger, so I'm kind of following his advice. I did not experience any weight gain so far, but if I'm having something more to eat, I'll choose it from the allowed food list, rather than buying junk food here and there.

On Sunday I had to come in the office to finish some work and after I was done I decided to stop by a metro grocery store to try to find my Cherry Black Berry herbal tea that I cannot find anywhere. I did not find it but I bought the berries one that I also like, while I was there I stopped by the Protein/Energy bars isle, it was full of different type of energy bars, all tempting really, I had to buy one for my chocolate craving so it took me some time to decide which one. I bought one called Solo by Gi brand, it was the only one I found with less calories and 10g of proteins. While I was going home after my grocery shopping I ate the bar while I was walking, that was the first time, since I started Dr. Bernstein Diet Plan that I was eating something outside the strict food list! The energy bar was absolutely delicious, giving that - as I always say - with 600/700 Calories per day, lots of things taste delicious.

Regarding the Maintenance Program, the portions are not clear to me; they base everything in ounces, which is just confusing. It should be from 7 ounces to 8-10 per day. What about egg whites? They're 9 ounces already! Now how much it is? I tried asking the nurses but they don't know either, they just suggested me to take a look at the booklet. The Maintenance little booklet is not the same as the Strict Diet one, which was very precise on portions and food types. The new booklet it's just a discussion on the benefits on keeping this healthy weight and things I can do now that I'm skinnier.

It mentions that vegetables now are unlimited, but not all of course, I can't have still potatoes, corn, peas or rice, which is ok, I really don't miss so much them, now that I've bok-choy and my mixed greens I'm super happy. Talking about vegetables I've to give all the honors to just one vegetable for my diet: Asparagus. This green un-tasty vegetable gave a consistent boost to my sad Diet; it made me lose weight fast and kept my bowel movement like a Swiss clock! Now I know that every time I need to manage some pounds off of my weight, I can count on it.

Quitting soon defeated

My Dr. Bernstein strict Diet is going to end very soon, to be precise in 5 days. I decided to go on Maintenance no matter what. I should lose another Kg – based on my personal goal - but my motivation went down to the drain so it's either a Kilo less by Tuesday or maintenance with a Kilo more. I could always manage to lose that Kilo during the maintenance program, also…I don't think so. Losing weight is more difficult than I thought; fluctuations are on a daily basis, even with such a ridiculous small amount of daily calories.

What's pushing me to stop the strict Diet is this constant state of weakness and starvation. I am always always hungry. I wake up in the morning starving with my stomach desperately growling for food. I cannot stand it anymore. I barely walk sometimes, I feel fainting very often, and I cannot enjoy strong physical activities whatsoever. This is not a normal life and I don't feel fabulous as the Dr. Bernstein doctor told me I should feel.

Tomorrow I've my bi-weekly doctor visit at the Dr. Bernstein clinic, I will tell him my physical situation and the reasons why I'm going on Maintenance starting next week. It will ok for them because I already reached my goal – based on their chart.

Yesterday I still had some traces of Ketosis in my sample, but I don't have that much fat left on me, I've to admit it. All my clothes are not fitting me properly now, apart from my skinny jeans. But I can't afford to change my whole wardrobe so I'll suck it up and wear oversized stuff for now. Maybe I'll buy one or 2 items, just for the office. Some people started to recognize my weight loss.

Next week it's also my birthday and I'm already dreaming of the double chocolate cake that I'm going to have. For just one day I won't care at all about the Diet or the calories intake. I'd like to have the delicious schiacciata that I use to love when working at the Italian bar. So far I've only these 2 wishes for my birthday.

What bothers me the most is my lack of strengths, it's something that I cannot stand, but I don't even have a way to react. I literally need to quit defeated. I cannot fight against it, I'm not strong enough anymore. Yesterday I was playing ping pong with my boyfriend and I had to force myself even to hit the little ball, to move left and right, WTH this is not me, I'm a full of energy person, I cannot stand this weakness anymore.

Another thing that I believe should not be the case in a Diet is this feeling hungry all the time, how can a normal person continue with it for months? Is there something wrong with me? Is my mind that it's making me think that I'm hungry but really I'm not? I can't come out with a logic explanation, so I guess it's just because I have only 600 Calories a day?

Lately I'm having 2/3 more Jell-Os than the allowed amount, one is 5 Calories that's why I'm not too concerned about it, and I can tell that it's not holding my weight loss so far. I love Jell-Os and it's the only thing that I look forward when I'm eating.

Almost there with my weight goal

Another week passed for my Dr. Bernstein journey. So far so good, finally I found a Diet that really works, strict true but which Diet allows you to eat chocolate and cookies? If you find it, please let me know.

This week I didn't lose much but it's ok, the scale this morning was displaying 54.7Kg (123.2lb for the clinic) and I literally don't recall last time I saw the number 54 when weighting myself on a scale! It could be during my years in University. That's a great motivation, yesterday my sister in law told me that I look 20 again, it might be not true ok, but I'll take the compliment anyway.

I'm craving sweets lately, in particular chocolate, I knew since begin of the Diet that I cannot attune myself to a life without chocolate, I simply cannot. So I bought another package of the Dr. Bernstein Protein bars today at the clinic. I personally like the Chocolate Decadent ones, but apparently the most popular one is the Peanut Butter Bar, I might like that too but I found Peanut Butter strong as flavour and will go cover my desired chocolate taste too much. It could also be that I'm European so Peanut Butter is not really in my genes as flavour.

Today I had my injection – for the second time – on my hips, I hope to lose some fat in that area, as woman with a job that requires an 8-hours sitting effort, it's the darn place where the fat mostly accumulates.

Their goal it's for me to go down MAX to 120lb but mine is 116lb / 117lb which is around 53Kg. I am still burning some fat; obviously I don't have the same amount as before, but still traces of Ketosis every morning. This lower goal weight will help me during Maintenance to manage any additional pound that I could gain – due to the new food amount intake. Let's be honest, this strict Diet definitely slows down your metabolism, if I go back on a semi-normal eating habit without being in Ketosis, how can I possibly maintain the same weight? I already gain pounds from one day to another just because I had 50g more vegetables than the recommended amount! I can only imagine with an unlimited veggie allowance.  

My body will need some time to re-adjust its metabolism, but I'm ok with that, I'll have the supervision of the Dr. Bernstein program, not without sacrifices I'm sure, but I'm confident that I can do it.

If you're reading this blog maybe you're thinking to join the Program or already into it, my opinion is that it works. No doubts period. If you don't feel strong with food restrictions or sweets/junk food then this Program is NOT for you. It is a strict diet, you need commitment, you need to be focused on your goals every day, and you need to be patience, avoid temptations, and accept a new eating life style, totally healthy. Everything you do in this Diet will soon make sense, it could become an obsession at begin, since you feel in need of food constantly; but it gets better with the weeks.

A month is passed for my Diet

My latest updates on my Dr. Bernstein Diet are all positives. I'm almost there in terms of goal weight, although in the past 3 days I didn't change not even for one single gram but it's ok, I don't want to pressure myself too much. I'm having one or two more Jell-Os in the evening – it is just 5 Calories at the end but it's my only treat for my extreme-sugar-tooth – and sometimes I put a bit more vegetables than the allowed amount, not too much like 10/20g more. I'm still eating less than 600 Calories per day at the end. But hey, this believe it or not could affect my weight loss.

My weight is down to 55.2Kg (124.4 lb based on the scale at the clinic) as per this morning. I can see myself skinnier in the mirror, sometimes a bit too much, I guess my eyes were used to see my big butt and now I'm kind of deflated, of course the gym would help eventually. I have only traces of ketosis lately, I'm not sure if it's because of the low amount of fat to lose left, or because I'm having so many herbal teas during the day. They really help me to fight the hunger, I'm discovering a total new world with those herbal teas; my favourite are the berries' ones.

Last weekend I was really busy and basically I had only a good breakfast and a good lunch, both Saturday and Sunday I had supper with just a bunch of sliced zucchini warmed up in the microwave, oh well of course my 2/3 Jell-Os – even if I'm dying I will never miss my Jell-O!  I had both days 100g of Cod Filet with mixed vegetables for lunch, I lost lots of weight in those 2 days, it might be the fish, it's very light and I was also pleased of the taste of my meals. To bring it in the office it's a bit difficult for me, I'm not really crazy of the idea of Microwaved Cod Filet, neither of the day-before-cooked Cod Filet, so I've to stick with something easier to warm up and bring at work. If I could only work from home sometimes, it would help me to manage my meals in a better way. Let's hope for better days.

Since I didn't reach my goal weight yet, today I purchased another 2 weeks of the strict diet – so for $310 I'll have 3 injections per week. Hopefully I'll be done soon; I won't lose my injections in case I reach my goal within 2 weeks timeline. Today I asked the nurse to do the injection on my hips instead of the abdomen; lately I didn't see any improvements on my belly fat, so I decided to switch somewhere else where needed, although the injection was not nearly painful, now I've my right hip all sore.

Sometimes I think on how will be my Maintenance program and how my body will react with the food amount change. I hope I won't gain weight or I would need to start again the strict Diet. At the begin I thought I would only need the single month of Maintenance included in the Plan and after that I could go forward by myself with all the insights I learned with the Dr. Bernstein Diet. Now I see things differently. I don't want to lose what I achieved with so many sacrifices, if this means staying in Maintenance for 1 year, I'll do it. But I'll decide on my way I would say, roughly I think I'll be on Maintenance a minimum of 3 months.