Wednesday, 19 June 2019

2019 Fast 7.0 - Dry Fast Day #3

63 hours into the Dry Fast - 69.75 Kg
I lost another KG since yesterday and I hope I will continue this trend for the next couple of weeks. After all what are two weeks in the length of a lifespan? A drop in the ocean!
Today I feel ok, yesterday night I had to work till 2:00AM and the evening felt endless. I worked from 3:40 PM to 2:00 AM - 10.5 hours! It was a real struggle arriving till the end of the working night. I don't like anymore this job, it's too hard for me working three jobs, I should quit. For now I just asked for a week off and see if I can rest a bit more. The only good thing of this place is that I do not eat the staff meal ever there and I work and walk a lot. Just yesterday I did more 20K steps based on my phone tracking, but it wasn't a record anyway, I did 25,000 on a Friday working till 3:00 AM.
I didn't check my Ketosis yet but I'm sure it already started, I want to be strong now and keep on fasting until I can.
I had a couple of glass of water last night while working. The job is really demanding so I was getting dehydrated. But it was an isolated episode, I was good after drinking and I didn't feel the need to drink more. Dry Fasting is way easier than Water Fast.

Tuesday, 18 June 2019

2019 Fast 7.0 - Dry Fast Day #2

41 hours into the Dry Fast - 70.7 Kg
Today my mood is really low, almost depressed and I really don't know why. All the existential doubts of life are coming up in my mind. I should be more chilled and repeat to myself that I do not care about anything, I should be happy to be healthier, smart and just beautiful as I am. But it's not always so easy, I have moments of real depression and moments when I'm happier or careless. I sent few sms to my man showing some concerns about our relationship - he is so young, but I didn't receive any reply yet, and although he might be just sleeping, my mind always goes in negative thoughts, catastrophic reasons on why things are not-happening! I'm wondering if this is also a form of detoxing, I'm just saying out loud whatever goes into my head, bad or good things. I even have the desire to tell all the opposite things to my boyfriend now; but I'll abstain to do that or he might think that I'm crazy...which I'm not!
The Dry Fast is going good so far, no sign of hunger or thirst; but it's been also just 41 hours anyway. My brother in law started with me his first prolonged fast, but he drinks water every time he feels really thirsty, still good though, as first-timer he is doing great.
Since yesterday I lost almost 2Kg, it's a huge number that I wish I could keep on seeing every single day of my Dry Fast! But I know it is just temporary, I will stabilize on 800/900 grams per day going forward, which is still a good average anyway.
Tonight I'll be working at my 3rd job - an event venue here in downtown, so from 3:45pm to 2:00AM or so I'll be walking around serving food and move furniture from one room to another one. This job is really demanding on my body, I just hope it will be worth it - in terms of calories expenditure. I'll check tomorrow my Ketosis and my weight again.

Monday, 17 June 2019

2019 Fast 7.0 - Dry Fast Day #1

12 hours into the Dry Fast - 72.05 Kg
And here I am again, trying to start a new Dry Fast as much as I can. I've been putting off this begin since weeks now, is never the right time and the desire to eat something is always stronger than my strengths. But every time I hope this time will be better and I should never give up after all.
I've been seeing someone lately, and although it is still in the early stages in the relationship, I feel a lot of attraction towards him. He likes me the way I am but I'm not comfortable with this body, and before we can be intimate, I would like to lose weight, to feel pretty with him. I really don't want to have sex with him with this big gut of mine, I don't feel sexy at all and I won't enjoy it if I have to be concerned about my body.
I hope I will find the motivation I need to keep on fasting and to be disciplined with my food intake. I gained a lot of weight in the past few months, it seems that no matter what I do, I cannot lose my weight. Sometime I wonder why I don't do anything to lose all these extra KGs? Why I'm ok on being overweight and do nothing about it? I'm sure I didn't give up on my weight, but at the same time I feel powerless when it comes to fast or losing anything in general. I can be good for few days and then I'm back on binging on sweets. I'm tired of this yo-yo dieting.

Tuesday, 28 May 2019

2019 Fast 6.0 - Dry Fast Day #1

12 hours into the Dry Fast
What can I say? I'm a total failure when it comes to lose weight and fast. I broke my fast with water at the end of the fifth day and with food at the end of day 6. I was at the banquet hall working and the food was amazing and so tempting, I was weak and I gave up. Now I'm back here, trying to lose the same KGs I had before starting the previous Dry Fast, everything went back on of course, but I didn't lose much in those 5 days so I'm not surprised that I didn't see any change. Every time I hope it's going to be different and every time I'm back here complaining with myself over these failures. Will I be ever able to lose my weight? Why I cannot water fast anymore? I can't Dry Fast for too many days and I need time to lose all the fat that I have accumulated in these years. I wish I had again all my strength and discipline to perform a 30 days water fast, or combined, dry and water for few weeks, that will suffice I guess.
In these days I'm really stressed because of my parents and the responsibility of my brother in law, often I feel emotionally weak and I want to eat, too much when I wouldn't needed anyway. Today is going to be a long day for me and I hope I'll be strong enough to resist to any food temptation because I'm tired to see myself so fat, no clothes that fit and so ashamed of just thinking on being intimate with someone so overweight. I hope I'll collect and find all the strengths I need to achieve my goals, it's hard but I have to.
So far I'm ok, my stomach is grumbling here and there but I didn't have any hunger cramps yet, and hopefully I won't have any. First couple of days are the worst!

Friday, 17 May 2019

2019 Fast 5.0 - Dry Fast Day #5

109 hours into the Dry Fast - 69.25 Kg
I'm finally into the 3-digit numbers of hours, it is always a nice accomplishment for me when I reach it - although it's just 4.5 days in this Soft Dry Fast.
Yesterday I did an enema, I felt I needed to clean a bit my bowel - I felt uncomfortable knowing there was still food sitting there.
I also took a bath with Epsom salt, with relaxing music, a candle and a face mask to clean my skin. During a Fast I always feel the need to pamper myself. It's like an extra care for my body.
This morning I had a good loss, a bit less than I was expecting (considering what I released after the enema) but still ok. I feel my mouth a bit dry today and I can tell that my speech will be soon affected by this, I already feel my dry tongue while talking. I am working from home today, it's a beautifully sunny day and I would love to stay hours in the sun - but I have things to do. I'll be working tonight at the banquet hall and hopefully I won't be tempted to drink water, not much the food - which I know I'll be ok resisting it - but I get dehydrated when I work there, running around; in any case it won't be my first time dry fasting and working so I should be ok. I felt really motivated this morning, thinking that this is the time for me to finally achieve all my weight loss goals, to have a better skin, better mood, more confidence in myself and smile more! I hope I can be strong enough for all of that.

Thursday, 16 May 2019

2019 Fast 5.0 - Dry Fast Day #4

83 hours into the Dry Fast - 70.45 Kg
Another day passed and I'm now into Day #4 of my Soft Dry Fast, still under 100 hours but my Ketones level was pretty good this morning showing a dark ketostix with 80mg/dL. Energy wise I'm still good and the thirst is bearable, my mouth feels nasty though and the lack of sleep is extremely annoying. I wish I had at least 5/6 days into the Fast to be sleepless. I'm losing weight pretty quickly, I was surprised this morning to see more than 1Kg of weight loss. I still didn't have the chance to do an enema, but just because I'm lazy, not that I wouldn't need one! I have lots of weight to lose and I still don't know how to keep on going with this fast, after I reach my breaking point and need to rehydrate. I was thinking on just sipping on water after 10 days or so and try to keep on going with the Dry Fast. I wish I knew I could do this Dry Fast as long as 10 days or 14 days, that would be great, I will certainly see some good results for my weight loss. Next week my parents are coming back and I hope I will not be tempted to eat or drink - as usually happens with them. I'm avoiding calling them so I don't get nervous or anxious and find mental escape with food. When I have things to do at work, my days go faster and I don't mind at all the Dry Fast, after all I'm too busy to think about it. My mental clarity is getting better, not fully there yet but I hope I can see more benefits in the next few days of the fast. This morning I felt my arms a bit weak, while I was brushing my hair, just few seconds though, plus I always feel a bit weaker in the mornings, my blood pressure is low, but during the day I feel much better and full of energy.

Wednesday, 15 May 2019

2019 Fast 5.0 - Dry Fast Day #3

59 hours into the Dry Fast - 71.7 Kg
Yesterday was a long day for me, I spent more than three hours in the car in order to go for a job interview - which I don't even know I can commit to it anyway (my three jobs are already keeping me really busy so far).
My energy levels are good, no Ketones checked though. This morning I had a bit of low pressure when I woke up; I feel much better now but it took almost two hours to feel normal again. Last night I had again lots of weird dreams and lack of sleep, this is really the most annoying part of a fast - I might have said it a million times I know.
I don't feel hungry nor thirsty but I can tell that my cravings are not all gone yet, it tells me that I might not be in fully Ketosis yet, my stomach is still rumbling here and there and I often wish to eat or drink something. I guess the desire of drinking never goes away, I even dreamt about it! My breath is now in the acetone-like state, it feels awful and I'm a bit concerned when talking to people. But, after all, today is just day #3, it shouldn't be so bad yet...or I hope so, I can't actually tell with precision.