Reloading my Fast-2019

To be honest, I do not recall why I broke my fast. Sure, Dry Fasting cannot be done for too long but I was thinking of keep on going with regular salt-water Fast. What did I do to change my mind and reefed I can't tell exactly. Nevertheless I wasted, as my usual, all those nicely done Dry Fasted days. I'm back again now, with same weight as I started - hopefully not more than that. During these past few days after breaking my Dry Fast I had my TOM and I even got a bad flu with annoying cough. I'm still recovering from my flu but I am beginning a new Dry Fast and I know it will help me feeling better in just two days, given the time to my body to heal itself.  
I don't know the precise time when I stopped drinking, I think I woke up in the middle of the night coughing and I sip a bit of water last night, maybe around 11:00PM. So, for measurement purposes I would assume my Dry Fast started at midnight, and here's my journal.
Dry Fast Day #1 - 11.5hrs - 73.8 Kg
So far I have a mild headache, I felt extremely hungry this early morning, just for a couple of minutes, but it was a strong hunger wave. Now I don't feel thirsty nor hungry. I'm thinking that the cause of my morning hunger was my yesterday's high carbs meal. High fat food would have been a smarter option. I have to admit I feel very vulnerable at the moment, anything could jeopardize my Fast; same reason why I had to wait two weeks before trying again and Fast. I need to stay away from food and food-related thoughts or I will be wondering why I broke my fast....again! I want to add that I got delayed this time around, so the fault is not 100% mine, maybe just 95%! I had this crazy idea to find a weight loss buddy, to feel motivated during my fasting journey and for accountability purposes I thought that could help all of us. So I found a girl, very nice with similar goals as mine - maybe not fully into fasting but ok on trying and doing some IF here and there. Well she kept on postponing the day for our first check-in and I kept on setting my mind as that would be Day #1 for me and my fast. But she never wanted to meet me seriously so I gave up on her eventually and I started fasting alone - believe it or not I'm more reliable alone!
Dry Fast Day #1 - 14hrs - 73.8 Kg
My headache is a bit stronger now, temptations of eating are a lot, I'm trying to be strong but it's not easy. It's not the actual food the temptation for breaking a fast, it's all psychological. After all I'm not hungry, I have just headache. Sometimes I think if I could lose weight differently, without fasting but I personally can't. I tried many times, I can be disciplined for few days, a solid week and then a weekend or 2/3 days can screw up all my sacrifices in no time and I'm back to square one. Plus the weight loss is so slow and I'm always starving and feeling deprived. It is not sustainable for me long term. I really admire people that can do it for months and months. Kudos to them. I have to endure this pain through the first few days. I need to reach day 7/8 for me to be super strong about refeeding.
Dry Fast Day #1 - 15.5hrs - 73.8 Kg
This morning I checked my weight and it was on a scary 73.85Kg, now I have this new scale that tracks also BMI and BF% - but I don't think is very precise. I don't check my weight when I'm not fasting and this is a bad thing, because I let myself go, I don't want to know how much I weigh, but instead I should face my fears and be honest on how fat I'd become. My stomach is growling a bit now, I don't feel much hungry and definitely not thirsty, but it's just few hours into this Dry Fast. Yesterday I wan mentioning to my mother that I will not go with them to Italy if my weight doesn't change. I don't feel comfortable to see anyone like this. It's something that nobody can understand but me. If I don't go my parents will be very disappointed because they're counting on my help to reach the destination city there. Every day my goal seems so far away and I don't have enough time to reach the weight that I want to be in. I hope I'll have enough strengths in the next weeks to persist in my diet journey. After all nothing happens overnight, I need to be strong.
Dry Fast Day #1 - 17.5hrs - 73.8 Kg
Today is not the day of when I quit! Today I will keep on going. Today I want to be determined on starting for good this new 2019 Prolonged Fast. I want to be strong and keep on going. I know it's tough in the first few days, but it's even harder for me waking up so fat every morning and coming to work with nothing in my wardrobe that fits. I don't want to give up on myself, I do not want to quit. I'm not hungry, there's no reason for me to break this Fast. Days will pass and so my KG on the scale. I want to see myself skinnier again, I hate myself in this way and every time I wonder how I let my body becoming like this without stopping and fasting earlier!?!
Dry Fast Day #2 - 37hrs - 72.7 Kg
The first day has passed, not without issues but it's gone and now I have to focus only on keep on going. I don't feel thirsty nor hungry at the moment, I do not have headache fortunately. I slept very well last night and I don't feel any sign of the Fast - like weakness or dizziness. I'm aiming for a week or so but, maybe keep on the open-ended side for now. It depends on how I feel. In any case, if a rehydration on water is required I'll do it for a max of 24 hours and then back into Dry Fast. If you think about, there's nothing better than Dry Fasting when fighting fat! The fat cells are mostly water, and when we Dry Fast that water is used as metabolic water to hydrate the body. I'm working towards my goal of eliminating this fat and also hydrating myself! I think... 
Dry Fast Day #2 - 43hrs - 72.7 Kg
I'm almost at the end of my working day and I cannot wait to go home and rest. I don't feel tired but my lower back hurts a bit, I'm wondering if it could be related to the need of releasing something from my GI tract. I had some vaginal discharge today, I think is because I'm a bit dehydrated, not sure though. I really don't feel hungry, not even thirsty. My mouth fortunately is still in good shape (regarding the white-coated issue) nothing so far, and I hope it will stay like this for long.

Combined Dry and Water Fast – Day #21

Friday 15.09.2017
Combined Dry and Water Fast – Day #21
Water Fast
Today I feel better than yesterday, my energy level seems improved a bit and my mood is ok. I came to the office with my scooter for the first time and, although does not give me the chance to walk and do some light exercise, I really liked, it’s a short trip really but I feel like at home in Rome, when I used to use my scooter to go to the subway or the train station.
My weight is going down very slowly, today I’m 60.7Kg; I registered a weight loss after the yesterday’s stall, so always good seeing the scale going down. Apart from the numbers, I prefer looking in the mirror and see my progresses; I’m still very chubby, I barely can use the leggings without feeling a sausage for my fat legs, so I am not getting skinnier fast that’s for sure. But that’s ok, I guess I’m a work in progress and I need to be strong and have patience if I want to reach my goal of 52Kg.
I was thinking of taking some of the tinctures in my morning Kidney tea, who knows maybe they will help me with the energy; I was also wondering if I should take a B12 shot once a week, that should help me too with my energy levels, but I’m still debating on this, so let’s see.
Fortunately it’s Friday today and this weekend I’m not seeing my parents, so I can dedicate to myself all the time I want. I feel that if I keep myself busy I don’t think much about the fast, plus I’m not even hungry anyway; I often repeat to myself: don’t be a chicken and keep going with this Fast, time will pass and I will be glad I did it, 100%!

My longest (Soft) DRY FAST experience - day by day

Thursday June 22^nd, 2017 - 7:00PM
Starting my (Soft) Dry Fast – I had my last Pudding and then went to bed watching TV to distract my mind.


Friday June 23rd, 2017 – 10:12AM - DAY #1
I feel ok at the moment, I’m not thirsty neither have headache, odd. Since I came in the office (around 8:30AM), I went to the washroom only once (not BM though).
My mouth does not feel dry fortunately. I did have a small BM this morning as soon as I woke up, but I can tell that the Dry Fast is constipating me.
I decided not to see my man tonight and going to my parents for the extended weekend, I don’t want anything to jeopardize my fast.


Friday June 23rd, 2017 – 11:00AM

16hrs into my Soft Dry Fast – I feel my hands skin a bit dry, I’ll use some hand cream for it. I’m not really thirsty but I feel a bit hungry, desiring something fresh and cool to eat, like a fresh sweet pudding, but also with some sort of fats in it. For sure I would not eat anything dry at the moment; most probably a sign that my body is asking me for liquid and hydration, and eating something dry will worsen the situation.

Friday June 23rd, 2017 – 12:40PM
My headache is starting; I’m not thirsty yet but I feel an awful taste in my mouth. I’m going for a walk during my lunch break to get some fresh air.
I feel often mucus coming back into my mouth, I hope is a good thing, that my body is getting rid of some bad toxins.


Friday June 23rd, 2017 – 1:40PM
My headache is definitely coming, not crazy strong but I can definitely feel it right now. I want to bring forward this Dry Fast as much as I can this time.
I’m not hungry at the moment, but I feel a bit sleepy, I guess is part of the detox symptoms. I’m having issues on focusing on the screen today, not sure if it’s because my eyes are tired due to the Fast or it’s just because of the long hours in front of the computer.
I really want to succeed this time with my Fasting, everyone is looking at me and recognizing that I gained so much weight, I don’t feel comfortable with myself and nothing is fitting me anymore.


Friday June 23rd, 2017 – 4:20PM
I have headache, I feel the pain in the top front part of my forehead. I don’t feel any hunger so far but this headache is annoying.
I don’t feel to use the washroom at all; I think I went to pee only 3 times in the whole day today, since I came into the office. I guess it’s normal since I’m not drinking water.  This is the “good” part of dry fasting vs water fasting – less trips to the bathroom!

My body feels a bit slower now, but I have good concentration, I’m able to work very well without issues. I want to go to bed early tonight though, a feel a bit tired on my body.

Saturday June 24th, 2017 – 9:00AM - DAY #2

38hrs in my Soft Dry Fast, the headache is gone and I don’t have any food temptation, I’m not thirsty neither hungry. Maybe just a slightly pain on my temples, but not thirsty and my mouth is not dry.

Saturday June 24th, 2017 – 2:30PM
I helped my parents to set up everything for their lunch and put all the take-out Chinese food bought on the dining table; now my stomach is growling a bit. I think the growling started once I smelled the food, so strong and delicious (although most likely full of MSG).
My headache is like 95% gone, I don’t feel very energetic at the moment; I still think about the desire of eating chocolate candy bars, like my favourite OH-Henry! Reese or the yellow m&m’s. I was looking at the candy bars in the various stores we went today and I was thinking on how much I would like to live eating only those things, and when and if I will eat it again.
I’m not sure if my kidneys are properly filtering though, my pee is strangely very clear, even though I’m not drinking any water or any sort of liquid.


Sunday June 25th, 2017 – 9:15AM - DAY #3

62hrs into my Soft Dry Fast – I don’t have headache today but I had to do my hair dye and now I can feel the toxins coming into my body. I feel my heart rate increased, my hands are like shaken and I can almost feel the toxins into my throat. I don’t feel hungry or thirsty though.

Sunday June 25th, 2017 – 6:30PM
I had a warm bubble bath this afternoon; I was in the water around 15 minutes I think. After the bath and the shower I went to pee at least 2/3 times, that’s a proof that my body was absorbing some of the water through my skin. I checked my Ketosis and is moderate with 40mg/dL.

While I was drying my hair I felt my arm tired and weak, the hairdryer felt very heavy. I fell asleep very early, maybe around 8:30PM but I woke up in the middle of the night, around 3:30AM/4:00AM for like 30/40 minutes, then fell asleep again.

Monday June 26th, 2017 – 9:20AM - DAY #4
86hrs into my Soft Dry Fast – I had moderate to high Ketosis this morning at ~60mg/dL, my weight is 64.4Kg (still so high I want to cry!). I can see the fat on my body going away differently when I’m in ketosis; my belly is way lower now. I feel sort of the ketosis-burning-fat cold sensation but if I touch my skin is kind of warmer than usual.
My arms felt very weak this morning and I didn’t feel walking to come to work really. But after walking for about 5 minutes I felt way better and I walked to work without any issue. I think I need to move the lymph’s thing in my body to put in circle the ketones. I am not sure though.
This morning I felt I was supposed to have a BM, but it didn’t happen – when I will re-hydrate the first thing I’ll do will be an enema for sure; I still have some left over food in my colon, but dry fasting does not help at all.
My pee looks darker now, I believe now my kidneys are filtering better than before. My mouth is not dry but I feel it like I didn’t wash my teeth since days, which is not the case since I’m keeping a normal oral hygiene daily. This morning I noticed that as soon as I put on my concealer on my face I had the same sensations I had with my hair dye, feeling a bit shaky and my heartrate increased. It didn’t last more than 5 minutes though. I don’t feel hungry but I’m starting to feel thirsty, not sure if it’s the real thirst but my mouth is different now, so I will assume is due to the thirst; I may do some water pulling just to clean up my mouth, without actually ingesting the water.

I have my left eyelid twitching this morning, I have definitely a vitamins/minerals depletion right now…not to mention everything else; but I want to continue this Dry Fast as much as I can, I still have lots of fat on me that can be used to keep going so I’m aiming for a 7 days Soft Dry Fast – plus since it’s a “Soft” Dry Fast my body is getting somehow some water anyway, the Hard one would be more dangerous if longer I guess.

Monday June 26^th, 2017 – 10:20AM
My stomach is growling at the moment, I don’t feel thirsty I think, but I would eat something, or maybe not. Sometimes I’m confused about the signals my body is sending me; since I’m into Ketosis I should not feel any craving or hunger, which I don’t think I feel anyway – but I would definitely love to drink some water. It’s really true that Fasting – apart of all the health benefits – let you appreciate small things of life: like a glass of fresh water. But I’m just on Day #3 basically and I cannot give up yet, overall I feel ok, people think they might die without eating or drinking but I’m the proof that it’s not true, I feel normal, sure I feel a bit thirsty in my mouth but I’m not dying for water or not able to function properly.

Yesterday evening I was watching  a video of a guy that did a 7 days Hard Dry Fast (awesome results) and he was mentioning that if you can do a 3/4/5 days Dry Fast then you don’t have any addiction, you can say no to any type of drink or food for good. It’s true sometimes is just in my head my sugar addiction.


Monday June 26^th, 2017 – 2:00PM
I'm still feeling my mouth like I have a crocodile in it. I can tell I'm not eating much by the fact that I cannot open it too much without hurting my sides. I have a slightly white-coated tongue, not its usual detoxing-white colour but I believe I should see it changing in the next couple of days if I continue my Dry Fast. Usually I see a white-coated tongue around Day #7 on a Water Fast.
I feel the urge to pee more often now, although I don't actually need to go but I'm now wondering if it could be a sort of UTI or my Candida, since I think I have some vaginal discharge. Hopefully is just my body getting rid of parasites or toxins in its own way. So far I'm not hungry at all, but maybe I'm a bit thirsty or better: my mouth feels dry hence the desire to drink something to relief this ugly mouth sensation.
I have an episode of anxiety or heavy breathing symptoms now, it lasted just few seconds but it's odd since I usually don't have anxiety while I'm fasting.


Monday June 26^th, 2017 – 4:40PM
I'm 93hrs into my Soft Dry Fast, almost 4 days with no food and no water (if not the one absorbed by my skin). I'm having lots of vaginal discharges today with a light sense of UTI, not sure if I'm diagnosing it properly though. I hope is some sort of bacteria die off and not the opposite!
I'm not hungry, not thirsty, only a bad feeling in my mouth, but still lots of saliva. I don't feel weak at the moment and I had the urge to urinate 3/4 times today - although it was very little. I feel I need to have a BM but I'm too dry to have it by myself, now I'm seriously thinking to do an enema once home after work. The reason is because, as always, I'm never comfortable knowing that some old stool is sitting in my colon for prolonged period of time, especially now that I want to keep this Dry Fast going as much as I can.
I read some blogs/websites were people talking about Dry Fasting for few hours like it was the end of the world! Maybe if you're really toxic, eating terrible food for years, then I can see some detoxing side effects in the first couple of days, but really it is nothing, apart from headaches I didn't feel anything and till last weekend I was stuffing myself with candy bars and McDonalds English Muffins.


Tuesday June 27^th, 2017 – 7:00AM - DAY #5
I'm into my Day #5 of this Dry Fast, this morning I felt I had to do a BM, but I couldn't do without an enema, so I got my new kit and manage to do it. After the first movement I felt a pain in my tummy and then I had another rather painful BM, but I definitely felt better after.
I did a sort of experiment this morning, I checked my weight before and after the shower - but it was exactly the same so I guess it did not absorbed any relevant amount of water.
Once I left the apartment I thought I couldn't walk to work this time either, but strangely my energy level was great, my Ketosis is very high today, I can see my belly going really down. You want to be in a good Ketogenic state to lose fat trust me!
My weight this morning is 63.4Kg, I lost 1Kg since yesterday. My mouth feels gross but I don't feel hungry nor thirsty.


Tuesday June 27^th, 2017 – 1:30PM
I went for a walk during my lunch break, my energy levels are very high and I'm happy for that, I'm sure is thank to my Ketosis.
I feel a strange feeling when I urinate, not sure if it's an UTI or something else, I do have still some vaginal discharges though, so it might be the Candida. Hopefully is starving and not feeding with my ketones!
I don't feel thirsty nor hungry, actually I definitely don't feel hungry but my mouth is as usual terrible and I would love to drink something fresh to change this bad taste in my mouth. My tongue is white-ish coated at the moment, not as my usual detoxing episodes on Water Fast Day #7 or so, but still white.
I bought a can of pure Coconut Water during my lunch break, I'm thinking on breaking my Dry Fast with some fresh Coconut Water, they say hydrates better than Spring water, but I may also decide to do the bubble drink with Apple Cider Vinegar and Baking Soda, to help my kidneys with the acidity built in these days of Dry Fast. I'll decide later, depending on how I feel really.


Wednesday June 28^th, 2017 – 9:15AM - DAY #6
I'm into the Dry Fast Day #6 with 135hrs of no food no water. So far so good, I registered a good loss this morning, I'm now 62.2Kg, lost something like 2lb in one day, but I did have a good BM yesterday so got rid of some waste from my colon. 
My energy levels are great, walking doesn't feel so hard like with a Water Fast, I didn't check my Ketosis this morning but I'm sure I'm still burning fat, my belly is going down - I still have a long journey of weight loss in front of me but I need to have patience.
I don't feel the "need" to break my Dry Fast but I really would like to drink some water, or something fresh - I would like to have the mix of baking soda - apple cider vinegar though, it would definitely benefit my kidney - but I don't have any in my office, so I'm not sure if I'll buy the ingredients or I'll just drink water slowly - or continue my Dry Fast till I'm home.
Yesterday I was watching videos of people breaking their Fast - ok everyone is different I get it, but seriously crying for a sip of water? After just 4/5 days?
I've been through different fasts and trust me is not a big deal, after 24 days food tasted the same, water tasted the same and I'm pretty sure when I'll break my Dry Fast after these 6 days I won't cry of joy or feeling different with water. I say like the Snake Diet guy: don't be a bunch of pussies!


Wednesday June 28^th, 2017 – 10:30AM
Ok, so I broke my Dry Fast after 5.5 days of no food no water as 136 hours of fasting. I went downstairs and bought a couple of cans of Pure Organic Coconut Water, no I did not cry drinking it, but it was deliciously sweet. I had a full can so far and going now for the second one, I had a sip of Spring Water as well but the Coconut Water is definitely more appealing.
With the first sip I felt the cool liquid going down my throat, but that's it, for the rest is like I never fasted, normal drinking.
I did have some sort of stomach uncomfortable feeling here and there while drinking, but really like 1 second each so no big deal, I feel perfectly fine, thirsty of more Coconut Water for sure!


I hope my (Soft) Dry Fast experience can be helpful to whom would like to begin this amazing journey, nothing to fear - listen to your body, heal yourself.

My modified Water Fast Day #2

This time around is not a regular Water Fast for me, I’m still taking my tinctures, supplements and I planned to have once a day my mud pudding; I’m hoping that those additional ingredients will help me to cleanse my body in addition of not having any solid food.
I begin my mornings with the Bell Kidney tea with my tinctures and the juice of half lemon; during the day I drink only water, often with lemon juice in it; plus I take all the supplements here and there. When I go home from work I take again my tinctures but without the kidney tea, just as shot, oh man they are so strong, I can feel it in my throat and after just one minute in my body, a couple of times I felt dizzy after taking it, not sure why – but it happens only when I drink it without the tea, so maybe is the alcohol in it. I usually wait from 30 minutes to 1 hour before eating my pudding; it is made with 2 cups of grape juice and my 3 magic super powders mix.
The reason why I’m ok taking this extra sugar is to avoid very high Ketosis that I would reach otherwise with a Water-Only Fast. Apparently Candida can feed on ketones too, I’m still not 100% sold on this theory but I want to give it a try and see how I feel, certainly I can say that the tinctures are doing its job, my anxiety is way less lately and for me is a great relief.
I don’t feel much hungry today, I would eat an entire truck of cheeseburgers but I can easily handle not to do that. I noticed that if I don’t think about food or see, smell, look at pictures, it is a bit easier; I think the part of me that feel deprived comes out screaming to eat, to enjoy what I like the most, of why this punishment, but I love myself more when I’m not overweight and I can wear everything I have in my closet rather than struggling every morning on what to do to “cover” my huge belly.
Sometimes I think that those uncontrollable cravings I have could be hormone related; the way I feel once a month or so it’s becoming a clear pattern so I wonder if the pre-menopause has nothing to do with it. I’m still young to think about menopause but can be just a hormone change that is giving me not only cravings but all those negative thoughts about everything and everyone, that also negatively impact the health of adrenal glands and the production of cortisol sky rocks for the “benefit” of the Candida. Well no matter how I put it... I’m screwed!

Dry Fasting - my personal experiences

In the past few weeks I did for the first time a Dry Fast, where you don't eat or drink anything – including water. Now, before you think I'm crazy and I'm out of my mind with suicide tendency, let me say that I found a lot of information regarding Dry Fasting and its benefits, so I felt confident that this type of Fast would help me achieve my goal of having my own perfect health status that I'm so tenaciously trying to reach.

As opposite of a Water Fast a Dry Fast cannot be done for prolonged number of days or weeks, and that is for obvious reasons. It usually goes from few hours to few days; apparently the maximum registered so far was 18 days of nothing but air. Performing a Dry Fast is mainly done when a person wants to let the body heal itself, cleanse, letting the body generate the superior water that it needs and reconnect spiritually with it.

I personally didn't become Gandhi neither I connected with anything rather than my bed during the Fast; but I guess everyone is different. My first Dry Fast was for 36 hours, followed by a 12 hours water fast and a sort of refeeding in the evening. Since I felt really tired and lethargic during my first Dry Fast I wasn't impressed about the result or the way I was feeling. As often happens with a Fast I was constipated and overall my energy was lower than normal. I did some researches on Dry Fasting and noticed that almost everyone was suggesting not spending all day in bed, since your lymph need to get in motion in the body with light exercises or walks; so I thought that could be the culprit of my results. So the next week I tried again with a 48 hours Dry Fast, started during the regular working days, so I was in the office forced to walk and do my things normally. This time around I didn't feel lethargic I have to say it, however I still had constipation issues and in general not drinking water for 2 days was not a pleasant experience for me. I did not connect to my body, I did not feel the mental clarity I usually have after few day of Water Fasting and I'm not sure my body decided to produce this superior water to clean and heal itself, most likely it did not get the memo within 48 hours!

Based on my personal experience the only thing I liked of this type of Fast were the reduced number of trips to the bathroom; but rather than that, I won't likely do again a Dry Fast. My ketosis even after 2 days was not high as the Water Fast; I had a lot of water retention after completing the 48hrs and the digestive system was off for a couple of days – way longer time to recover if compared to a Water Fast.

I believe everyone is unique and we respond to a fast in different ways; you have to find what works for you and what not. For me it's a trial journey, I push my body on trying new thing every month, trying to listen on how I feel. I completed earlier a fast often, just because I wasn't feeling right. I know now that my willpower is nothing when my body doesn't listen; this is my life from binging to fasting!

In my first day of 7-Day Water Fast - How am I?

My first Water Fast day is going well so far, right now I feel less hungry than before, I noticed that if I drink water I have the emptiness feeling that we always use to associate to the hunger – which is not, it's just the water rolling into my digestive system and finding its way down.

I went downstairs to buy a couple of bottle of vapour distilled water, it's not exactly pure distilled water but I think it's a good compromise while fasting, it also tastes really good.  One of the key component on being diligent during my Water Fast is finding some time to do things instead of having a meal, I have to say that I can always find something to buy instead of eating - but my 23 days Water Fast done in October really made me spent so much money that now I have to be more conscious on what I really need to buy!

The first 2/3 days of a Water Fast are never fun, especially knowing that I'm losing muscle – since I'm not into Ketosis yet. I should have switched to a low carb – low sugar regiment before starting the fast, but who does it? Yesterday I ate whatever I wanted, I didn't feel great with my stomach and my heart palpitations were raised almost the whole day, I have better willpower when avoiding food altogether than sticking with a specific meal plan. I wasn't always so bad, the large amount of Diets made me like this really.

I'm still the idea of doing my planned 10-Day Water Fast on December the 5^th, I like Water Fasting, I don't mind it – it really gives me a break from my obsessions, my fat, my cravings, my mind works better, I have more mental clarity, I feel confident I can manage my weight, I like the idea that my body is healing itself and I'm cleansing it. The reason why I want to do another Water Fast in 2/3 weeks from now is because I believe my body still needs to detox, to heal and I did not complete this process, it will require some time; I cannot achieve this goal without multiple extended Water Fasts. I'll be fasting often in the coming months, not sure yet the length of each fast, most likely a long one like my first, I would do only a couple of times in a year, spaced out with shorter Water Fast like 7/10 – Days total – less than that there's no point on doing it, my body gets into ketosis around 3/4 days into the fast so I need to burn fat or the Water Fast will just make me lose muscles and it's definitely not what I'm looking forward to.

Are you really ready to lose weight?

I've been thinking lately how important is to be in the right set of mind when starting a diet, not just the HCG diet but any diet. Motivation and determination is essential, to avoid failures, frustrations and mental cravings. I wasn't ready for my Round 2 with HCG - I think after coming back from my vacation, I rushed on starting again the protocol without not even asking myself if it was the right time – I just wanted the weight off.

For me food is my obsession, and although I rationalize everything in a logical way, food it's still illogically controlling my actions, my thoughts and my deepest desires – every-single-day.

I read a lot online about eating disorders, watched videos of people confessing their food obsessions, I know I have a problem, I don’t feel ashamed to admit to myself or anyone that my relationship with food is not normal, my issues are clear, just not easy to resolve.

What I do not believe is true in my case, is the rejection of my body; sure I’m overweight and I would like to lose weight but I think I’m beautiful anyway. I’m pretty even with my chubby muffin tops. But being appreciative of our bodies does not mean that we stop trying to be more in control with our health, our weight. Why has to be so bad even just talking about dieting when dealing with an eating disorder? Why everyone has to convince me that I should not lose any weight whatsoever, I should accept myself like I am - right now and be happy for the rest of my life? I am happy when I am in control of my diet. I noticed that if I don’t have any specific diet plan during my days….I eat everything I want, or better saying: I overeat with anything I crave. And I usually crave a lot sugar.

I tried many times to practice the rule: eat only when hungry, it doesn’t seem working for me, since I’m always hungry! I don’t recall last time I felt really full or satisfied after a meal, mostly because I try to avoid carbs and eat more proteins, so after one hour or so I feel hungry again….starving again.

So my advice is: do not start any diet until you’re 100% ready to be fully committed to it, because if you lose faith in a diet/protocol – it will never work again for you. I f we cheat once we will likely do it again.

Gaining weight

So this morning I weighted myself home and – believe it or not – I gained 400g! I know it's nothing and it could be just small water retention but still. I'm having less than 600 Calories per day, I'm not losing any weight, and I even gain pounds! WTH is happening I don't know.

I'm hungry often during the day; if anyone tells you that you don't feel hungry with Dr. Bernstein Diet, it's not true. Yes you could feel that a meal is a lot after a while, but I'm not happy about that, I mean this could be just because my metabolism is slowing down. My body is protecting itself trying to store everything it can.

The nurse this morning suggested me to change something in my food list, like eating asparagus, never been a fan of it but I guess I will try, for the cause. I'm having broccoli today and I'll try to avoid anything that is processed for this coming weekend. If I'm not losing weight by Monday I'll be in serious depression!

I had another abdomen injection today; she was telling me that it's better to stick for a month on the same spot for the injections, to see results. I personally would like to end the Diet within a month and then go on maintenance. Obviously I planned all that when I thought I would have done with the losing weight part by then. Let's see how things will proceed in the next days. I should not evaluate my weight loss based on a single day. I'll try to recap the overall Diet by the end of the week.

I'm thinking of joining a gym soon, possibly close to where I live so I will not find excuses when I have to go and exercise. Considering that I've the gym in my building and I never go, it's a sign on how much disciplined I am in this matter. But I'm always worried about my knee injury to be honest; joining a gym could give me the chance to exercise in classes where the impact on my knee is different compared running.  The only annoying part is the until-you-die-membership type of thing that they have here in Canada. Only for that I avoided the gyms in the past years, don't you think they lost money for that? I think so. I would be willing to pay month by month, maybe a bit more but I'd prefer it, rather than a long year of membership that you cannot withdrawal unless you pay an unfair fee.  Oh well, I'll give it a try and evaluate the pros and cons.