My weight sorrow

So today's Friday and I went for my weigh-in and injection to the Dr Bernstein clinic this morning as usual. I wasn't really happy when I woke up and I saw my weight exactly as yesterday. You'd think with such small amount of calories intake, exercise and all the water that I drink, I would see myself at least half pound skinnier, at the minimum. Well it doesn't actually work like that apparently. Your body can get lazy and stop to lose weight if you eat the same things every day! WTH….now what else?! Should I just drink water for the rest of my life and avoid all the food that I like? It doesn't seem fair to me.

Anyhow, based on Dr. Bernstein result I lost 1.2 pounds since Wednesday – so for their point of view I'm just fine. Definitely not from mine though, this diet is tough, you want to see results every day.

But the most annoying thing that happened to me today was not my stale amount of pounds, but their "Goal Weight" estimation. When I first started the program they asked me what would be my ideal weight, what I'm looking for to achieve from this Diet, so I said: 52Kg, considering that most likely I'd gain back a couple of Kilos during maintenance, seemed a reasonable target for me. The fact that none of the nurses had any idea of how much 52 Kg are in pounds was just annoying to me. I live in Canada BTW, and as far as I know Canada does NOT follow US in its measurements system, but not sure why still those pounds are around.

They do their own estimation of course and they write down on the Diary sheet a range (in pounds) on how much my weight should be…approximately. Well the range is within 10 pounds! My personal goal range is between 120 and 130 pounds, which on my tiny body 10 pounds are really a lot.

With my weight I'm almost close to 130 lb, not there yet for sure but close, it might take up to 4/5 days to lose the rest I guess. But to be honest this is not my target weight. I joined the Dr Bernstein Diet when I was 137 lb, do they think I'd pay $1000 to lose only 7 lb??! That is just ridiculous.

I want my target weight and if it's not possible for me, well they have to give me a Medical reason why, not just a stupid algorithm that says based on height, how much I'm supposed to lose. For the same amount of Kilos, the same person could be overweight full of fat or incredibly muscular. A Diet, and especially one that pretend to be highly medically supervised, should be tailored by the individual, case by case – not by the chart on a book.

Every time I say to anyone: I'm on Dr. Bernstein Diet – I've the same reaction: you look great; why are you on this Diet?! I'm so tired of this reaction. I'm definitely not losing weight so people will look at me and say: oh you look great!, I want to lose weight because I'm not fitting anymore in half on my dresses and I don't use a pair of jeans since 10 years now. Sure, I'm pretty good on hiding that fat on my belly or my huge ass, but that does not mean that at the end of the day I'm happy for that. I hate how I became since the past few years, my knees do not cooperate with my exercise routine and I'm struggling to lose half pound in a day having only 500 calories in food! WTH!

I don't blame people that never seen me in bikini…ok, but the nurses that do the injections every other day should have an idea what do I have to lose, DO NOT LOOK AT THE CHART DAMN IT!! I'm here! Look at me! Did you see my belly fat coming out of my skirt this morning? Well that is not nice if it stays there.