Confession of a Food addicted

As I was mentioning in one of my previous posts, when dieting some days are better than others. Some mornings I see big losses and I get motivated, some others my cravings are killing me so much that I would rather be fat for the rest of my life and indulge in all the chocolates and cookies I want. But I must to say I do crave not only sweets but food in general. I would love to have a huge bowl of broccoli in Alfredo sauce, or just steamed broccoli and lemon, I'd love a lettuce salad with some roasted chicken breast. Anything that I like, in terms of food, would be good when my cravings strike up so strongly. I guess someone can say that this is a Binge Eater talking; food is my weakness, something rather scaring when dealing with diets basically whole my life. Sometimes I feel like to eat all I want like there's no tomorrow, some days I look at myself in the mirror and I can see the progress I made, I don't want to go back on being overweight and being stressed with another strict diet again. Maybe now is time for me to go back to the gym, since my maintenance is completed (in terms of P3 but I'm now in P4), I should think about on doing some exercises, not to consume any calories, I never believed in those silly equations of Calories consumption vs Calories burned; the gym would help - if anything - to stay away from the fridge!

I didn't have my period this month, so unless the angel Gabriel will come on the 25^th for another annunciation….I should assume my strict Calories consumption put me in starvation mode in the past weeks, considering on how I'm eating in these days, my TOM should come back regular very soon.

I'm not sure what is causing my cravings, I want to eat all the times, even if I'm not hungry, I feel thinking only about which nice and healthy recipe I can prepare, I'm scared for this binging thoughts. These days have been tough on me; my weight is going to be up for sure tomorrow, way too many boiled eggs and proteins. I'm giving away my cat tomorrow, and although he will be much happier with them I'm sure, I feel a terrible person, incapable to commit in anything that could alter my deeply insane habits. My aversion against mess and dirt is so strong that I'm sure could be classified as a pathology for some psychotherapist! My work is getting busier and busier; the past weekend was the first one free since January. I'm still single looking for the non-existent perfect man that will commit to a woman incapable of commitments.

Crazy me, some people say that there could be an emotional reason why we eat or why we crave certain type of food. For me I think is true the vice versa, I believe there's a specific binge episode for any emotional irrational reaction that I've every day. The way I deal with food and the scale changes completely my mood in seconds…or is the opposite?!

HCG Diet - VLCD #40 and P3 on the way

I'm officially out of P2, in the 72 hours that precede my Phase 3, I might classify this stage as P3 too I guess, not really sure since I'm still on a VLCD regiment till the end of tomorrow. And as VLCD today's the #40, I cannot believe 40 days have been passed by for my HCG Diet and I'm stunned on how I feel, how my diet and weight loss was. I think it's something that you need to experience to fully understand, this is really not a Diet it's a cure, a revolutionary weight loss journey that changes perspective on how I see food and fat in general.

I'm still not feeling hungry most of the day, sometimes in the morning I've some cravings; I feel a bit hungry around mid-morning, but usually a decaf coffee or my lovely chamomile fixes the problem.  I will set my LIW (Last Injection Weight) as 56.6 Kg, I feel comfortable in this weight and I'm happy to stabilize it at this level, hoping I will never go back on where I was. Of course I still need to lose some fat but I will do it in the next round of HCG, I'm still waiting for my solution to arrive from US where I ordered. I do have at least 6 weeks of P3/P4 anyway, not in a rush definitely.

In my P3 I'm not supposed to gain or lose any weight, just let my hypothalamus reset on my 56.6 Kg, I'm a bit scared I've to admit it, maintaining is the most challenging part of all for any diet. But I also think that 40 days have passed as a breeze and I'll try to be disciplined and follow Dr. Simeons advice, checking every day my weight on the scale and trying to correct any big variation that I can encounter.

I'm thinking to introduce new food very slowly, I'll continue with P2 food for now (which I love anyway), if tomorrow my weight is going down I maybe take some fat free Cottage Cheese and some extra celery to compensate with the Calories, going forward I think I will have a better idea on how my body reacts when introducing more food.  I am aware already of some type of food that I can have easily and some other not; I need to play with this to be successful.

The list of food items that I can have on P2 is so limited that makes everything really easy, you don't have to think much: it's either A or B, not much choice here. So after 40 days having baby spinach chicken salad I still love it! I look forward every day to eat it, I like my dinners too, I was never been able to have regular dinners before, always concerning that I will see the scale going up the next day, and that how it was all the times! Now the scale goes down; I cannot believe I'm eating roughly 500 Calories per day and not feeling weak, dizzy, hungry, and grumpy. HCG is changing my life and I look forward already for my next round. I'm just wishing a smooth P3!

HCG Diet - VLCD #12 - Protein Powder for P2

Today is my VLCD  #12, the Diet is proceeding well, this morning the scale reported a promising loss and I'm now officially into the 61 Kg mark. Being over the 62Kg-s is motivating for me, although I know slowdowns and brief stalls are part of the Diet, nobody likes seeing unchanging-weight when having such a small amount of Calories.

I've to admit, today for lunch I might had way too much chicken, I had hard time to portion exactly gr on Sunday when I cooked in advance all my meat. I bought 3 packages of organic chicken breast at the supermarket and I wanted to grill and portion so I'd have ready for my salads for the whole week and more. I tried to give estimation on how many portions I will have with the amount bought, but then – since I removed lots of fat from it – I estimated a slightly smaller amount of portions. I don't think I was over that much, I'd say rather than 100gr of chicken breast I had maybe 120gr or 130gr. Cooked chicken has an extremely lower weight than the raw one, I have the proofs!

So now it's just after lunch and my stomach feels full, due to the large amount of spinach I had with the chicken too I guess, I should remind myself to be careful with my portions if I don't want to waste a week worth of HCG and hard work. I don't believe in the typical suggestion that lots of people give when dieting: "don't be hard on yourself if you cheat, it's ok", no it's not ok, I need to be disciplined, I was a compulsive eater for this reason, allowing myself to binge and thinking that would be better tomorrow….which never happened. That's the similar reason why people go to those boot-camp gym classes, to be yelled in their ears to push hard on exercise and never stop. We need strong directions on our weaknesses; well at least this is for me and might not apply to everyone.

I'm researching to buy some protein powder for my P2 Phase, I know it's not in Dr. Simeons protocol but I believe that if I find a non-fat protein blend I'd be ok with that. The reason why I want to buy Protein powder is because I know the importance for my body to have my Protein intake every day. Sometimes I find myself skipping a meal and that means skipping a Protein serving. The body gets in alarm-mode, hunting for food and it's not healthy for my metabolism and a healthy food-relationship.

I checked online which could be the best Protein Powder I could buy, and I found a brand name called Jay Robb, apparently it's a guy that makes some good tasting Protein powder with 0 Fat and very low in basically everything. I want to find it today after work, I might use it just once in a while but I thought it could be a very good habit even for my HCG P4-life Phase, learning on how to properly nourish your body is fundamental at the end.

Talking about protein I read a very interesting article about it, so true that when the body has the right amount of protein is content, that's why sometime is good having protein before bed, so you can sleep better, rather than being on alerting hunting-mode (explained the strong nap-desire after meals!).

Another thing I noticed affecting a lot my weight loss is the amount of water I have daily. If I don't drink more than 2L of water, I don't lose weight, I don't feel right either. When we lose weight we release lots of toxins that are stored in our fat cells, those toxins need to be eliminated from our system, or they will make us sick or with uncomfortable feelings. One proved way to help this elimination is drinking water, it helps a good kidney functioning so the liver (which is the main organ for the detoxification) is not busy doing double job!