Failing to begin a Fast - I'm trying again

The beginning of a fast is always the hardest one, and personally I usually fail the first couple of attempts before reaching Ketosis. Once I am in a good Ketogenic state, nothing can tempt me really, but this happens after approximately 7/8 days into a Fast.
I know I said I would start my new Fast on November 1^st, but after 18hrs of Dry Fasting I gave up and had something to drink, in the evening I had a big supper, but overall only one big meal for the day. It’s so easy for my mind to convince me that one more day won’t make any difference and indulge in food and sugar; I am very weak.
Today I feel more motivated though. Since yesterday I started to check my weight again; I have to admit I cried when I saw the number on the scale, never been so fat and the amount of time I would need to lose all this weight is beyond my estimations.
On the Internet I found various blogs talking about personal Fasting experiences; the number of days of the length of a Fast it usually different for everyone, it can go from few hours up to 100 days. I was reading yesterday about someone completing 92 days fast, impressive, and definitely not common to find online these numbers. It requires lots of patience I can imagine, and fat storage enough to support the body for 3 months. But one thing I learnt from this story, after 3 weeks or so into the fast I should start to take Sodium, Potassium and other supplements for my electrolytes or I will feel too weak to continue over 30 days. This time around I’m aiming for 40/50 days, let’s see how it goes, I will listen to my body….but the number 92 is always in my mind!
I can’t wait for these first few days to go by quickly, because I know that I will feel better once I’m over this period, not that I feel hungry or thirsty but soon I will feel sleepy, I’ll have a headache, I’ll be grumpy, stomach growling, sugar cravings (well those ones never go away!), and my focus on things will be definitely impacted negatively. And I’m only 12hrs into the Dry Fast!
But really, I cannot continue like this, I hate myself everyday a bit more, and not that I care on how I look, I just don’t feel good, I don’t even want people to see me; if I could I will stay home in my bed for 2 weeks….but I have to come to work and deal with everyone here and with my cravings. I hope I’ll be fine this time around; a long journey is in front of me, I pray the Lord to give all the strengths I need to not give up this time.

Combined Dry and Water Fast - Day #27

I’m almost at the end of another week, on Day #27; so far I’m ok but I’m definitely feeling the side effects of so many days of Fasting. I cannot do long walks, well at least not today, sometimes one day can be totally different from another. My arms are still very weak; I don’t have much strength to do heavy lifting or things like that. Yesterday I had to change the system inside the toilet that control the water tank with the lever and so on; well it was a real challenge for me removing the old pump and unscrew the various pieces! I thought I could not do it at some point, that I had to call a plumber; fortunately I managed to find some strengths and I was able to change and fix everything, I was proud of myself at the end; not only for my handy-man skills but because it was tough on my body the overall process.

My mother is becoming a bit worried about me not eating since so many days and she keeps on asking me when I’m going to end my Fast; but I told her that I planned on refeeding by the end of next week, if everything goes well; at the end I listen to my body and how I feel day by day, and really the days pass, once into a Water Fast you don’t realize how time can be so erratic and it goes, no matter what you do, you just need to have some patience, let things go, let your mind being distracted by the bigger picture not the challenges of the moment, it won’t work easily if we engage in analyzing too much how we feel now, rather than how we would feel if we give up.

For today I was thinking on doing another enema, I don’t feel constipated or uncomfortable, but I had feelings that I could have still some residual food sitting in my GI tract that would need to be removed, so not to poison my body. I was also wondering if I would ever see any parasites coming out of my body; not that it is something that I’m looking forward to, but lots of people doing Water Fasts are reporting of getting rid of parasites and worms and nasty things like that; which is a good thing to know that they are leaving the body anyway; I personally cannot say that I ever got rid of any of those things, who knows if they are hard to go or just I didn’t notice and I actually did removed parasites in my previous fasts.

My weight loss is still very very slow unfortunately, but there is not much I can do I guess, I was hoping I would be at 57Kg by the end of this week, but clearly is not going to happen, I’m still in the 59Kg and it’s already Thursday today. I hope at least by Monday I will be able to see the 57Kg somehow. If I am in the 56/57 Kg by the begin of the next week I was thinking on switching my Water Fast to a Bone Broth Fast, always drinking water on the side but starting to add some proteins and vitamins from the broth. I already know that I won’t be able to handle too much Bone Broth for too many days without being sick of it, so I might have it only here and there during the day and for the rest my usual water intake. But I’m not sure yet, since much would depends on what my weight will be by begin of next week.

Combined Dry and Water Fast – Day #20

Thursday 14.09.2017
Combined Dry and Water Fast – Day #20
Water Fast
So I broke my Dry Fast yesterday, not because I was thirsty or anything, just bored of not drinking, but I’m also bored of drinking water anyway. Some days are not all rainbows unfortunately. I feel given up, I feel I would like to eat something delicious, fruits and vegetables. But I tell myself to be strong, after 20 days I must continue, days will pass and I’ll reach my goal and thank myself for being strong and keep on going with my Fast. I’m not hungry, just annoyed of drinking water I guess, but from a point of view this is just childish somehow, because I’m like a little kid that wants the candies, not because she “needs” candies, just to satisfy the cravings; so I better stay away from these stupid cravings.
I estimated that I could, potentially, complete my Water Fast around October 6^th/7^th – if everything proceeds as expected. Today I did not lose one single gram from yesterday, but it could be water retention since I broke my Dry Fast just few hours ago. I have to remember that, if I want to start a new Dry Fast, I either do it for at least 5/6 days or I don’t do at all. Because 48hrs are worth nothing in terms of weight loss, and actually I’m just shocking my body that would retain as much water as it can!
So far I feel ok, mood is good, my stomach is growling often today, but I’m not hungry. I bought an unsweetened tea at Starbucks today, and really it was absolutely disgusting. Now I guess I cannot tolerate anything, I should stick with just plain water, not even lemon water, it’s bothering me that too now.
Sometimes I think on how will be my body reaction to food again, once I break the Fast in 3 weeks from now. It does seem a long time, but I’m sure time will pass quickly if I don’t think too much about it. I wish I had lots of things to do during the day, so I could be busy and not think about my Fast. It is really a lot of mental component here, because there’s no hunger whatsoever, so it’s just my mind that calls for food.
My journey though, it is still long but I have lots of weight to lose unfortunately, so I don’t have much choice, I don’t want to be fat as I am, I don’t feel well, it’s causing me a lot of anxiety, and when I’m skinnier I feel younger, full of positive thoughts, I feel like another person. People interact with me differently, I do too, I feel more confident, my clothes fit and I can use my whole wardrobe without stressing in the mornings on what to wear. I know it might seem a superficial way to see things and my life, but this is what makes me happy, and everybody is different, what makes you happy can be different from someone else. We have to find what’s right for us.