Confession of a Food addicted

As I was mentioning in one of my previous posts, when dieting some days are better than others. Some mornings I see big losses and I get motivated, some others my cravings are killing me so much that I would rather be fat for the rest of my life and indulge in all the chocolates and cookies I want. But I must to say I do crave not only sweets but food in general. I would love to have a huge bowl of broccoli in Alfredo sauce, or just steamed broccoli and lemon, I'd love a lettuce salad with some roasted chicken breast. Anything that I like, in terms of food, would be good when my cravings strike up so strongly. I guess someone can say that this is a Binge Eater talking; food is my weakness, something rather scaring when dealing with diets basically whole my life. Sometimes I feel like to eat all I want like there's no tomorrow, some days I look at myself in the mirror and I can see the progress I made, I don't want to go back on being overweight and being stressed with another strict diet again. Maybe now is time for me to go back to the gym, since my maintenance is completed (in terms of P3 but I'm now in P4), I should think about on doing some exercises, not to consume any calories, I never believed in those silly equations of Calories consumption vs Calories burned; the gym would help - if anything - to stay away from the fridge!

I didn't have my period this month, so unless the angel Gabriel will come on the 25^th for another annunciation….I should assume my strict Calories consumption put me in starvation mode in the past weeks, considering on how I'm eating in these days, my TOM should come back regular very soon.

I'm not sure what is causing my cravings, I want to eat all the times, even if I'm not hungry, I feel thinking only about which nice and healthy recipe I can prepare, I'm scared for this binging thoughts. These days have been tough on me; my weight is going to be up for sure tomorrow, way too many boiled eggs and proteins. I'm giving away my cat tomorrow, and although he will be much happier with them I'm sure, I feel a terrible person, incapable to commit in anything that could alter my deeply insane habits. My aversion against mess and dirt is so strong that I'm sure could be classified as a pathology for some psychotherapist! My work is getting busier and busier; the past weekend was the first one free since January. I'm still single looking for the non-existent perfect man that will commit to a woman incapable of commitments.

Crazy me, some people say that there could be an emotional reason why we eat or why we crave certain type of food. For me I think is true the vice versa, I believe there's a specific binge episode for any emotional irrational reaction that I've every day. The way I deal with food and the scale changes completely my mood in seconds…or is the opposite?!

HCG Diet - End of P3

Today technically ends my Phase 3 of HCG Protocol Maintenance. I can say that I've successfully maintained my weight within the 2lb range, very easily I've to say and most of the days, in the previous 3 weeks, I was slightly under my LIW – which is 56.6 Kg. Of course some days are better than others and I do not believe 3 weeks are actually enough to stabilize any weight, for me at least, I might need something like 6 months. Once you eliminate fat, the empty fat cells are still in your body, to let them die and get rid of from your body, you need at least few months, I estimated 6 months but I might be wrong. So weight swing control is always fundamental when dieting, especially after a big weight loss.

HCG Diet - VLCD #40 and P3 on the way

I'm officially out of P2, in the 72 hours that precede my Phase 3, I might classify this stage as P3 too I guess, not really sure since I'm still on a VLCD regiment till the end of tomorrow. And as VLCD today's the #40, I cannot believe 40 days have been passed by for my HCG Diet and I'm stunned on how I feel, how my diet and weight loss was. I think it's something that you need to experience to fully understand, this is really not a Diet it's a cure, a revolutionary weight loss journey that changes perspective on how I see food and fat in general.

I'm still not feeling hungry most of the day, sometimes in the morning I've some cravings; I feel a bit hungry around mid-morning, but usually a decaf coffee or my lovely chamomile fixes the problem.  I will set my LIW (Last Injection Weight) as 56.6 Kg, I feel comfortable in this weight and I'm happy to stabilize it at this level, hoping I will never go back on where I was. Of course I still need to lose some fat but I will do it in the next round of HCG, I'm still waiting for my solution to arrive from US where I ordered. I do have at least 6 weeks of P3/P4 anyway, not in a rush definitely.

In my P3 I'm not supposed to gain or lose any weight, just let my hypothalamus reset on my 56.6 Kg, I'm a bit scared I've to admit it, maintaining is the most challenging part of all for any diet. But I also think that 40 days have passed as a breeze and I'll try to be disciplined and follow Dr. Simeons advice, checking every day my weight on the scale and trying to correct any big variation that I can encounter.

I'm thinking to introduce new food very slowly, I'll continue with P2 food for now (which I love anyway), if tomorrow my weight is going down I maybe take some fat free Cottage Cheese and some extra celery to compensate with the Calories, going forward I think I will have a better idea on how my body reacts when introducing more food.  I am aware already of some type of food that I can have easily and some other not; I need to play with this to be successful.

The list of food items that I can have on P2 is so limited that makes everything really easy, you don't have to think much: it's either A or B, not much choice here. So after 40 days having baby spinach chicken salad I still love it! I look forward every day to eat it, I like my dinners too, I was never been able to have regular dinners before, always concerning that I will see the scale going up the next day, and that how it was all the times! Now the scale goes down; I cannot believe I'm eating roughly 500 Calories per day and not feeling weak, dizzy, hungry, and grumpy. HCG is changing my life and I look forward already for my next round. I'm just wishing a smooth P3!

HCG Diet - VLCD #35 - Ready for P3

Today is my VLCD #35 – I can't believe it's been already 35 days of my HCG Diet. Time really flies and so far I'm really happy with the results, with how HCG made me feel through the whole weight loss process.

In the past few days I had very small traces of Ketosis and I thought I would stop with the injections doubting the potency of my HCG solution, but no hunger, no weakness, no cravings, having lots of water convinced me to continue with HCG another couple of days or so, I think till I actually have solution to do the injections, I also noticed that the Ketones are less visible in my urine when I drink lots and lots of water before bed, which can make sense…I think.

So today I was between small and just traces of Ketosis, I'm not that hungry but I cannot be 100% sure that is not due to my long diet journey. I do feel ready for P3 though, I'm good with my weight as per today, sure I need to lose more but I'm ok on stabilizing what I've achieved so far. Most of my dresses now fit comfortably, not all maybe but enough to make me feel good about myself.

P3 will be a challenge I already know, it will be mostly about calories because I won't be any more under the easy directions of Dr. Simeons for 500 Calories and clear and concise meal plans. I'm thinking to continue with P2 food and just increase the protein dosage, maybe a bit more vegetables here and there, but without going crazy of course. I'm finding so easy prepping my meals for the next day, it takes me 2 minutes and I enjoy my spinach chicken salad as never before, I'm even loving my breakfast orange in the morning, which is odd for me that I never been a fan of oranges.  

In the morning – with my HCG injection – I'm also doing a 30IU B12 injection, in a different spot with a smaller insulin syringe. B12 is something I learned with the Dr. Bernstein Diet and, after lots of researches I came to the conclusion that it's good for energy and to keep the fat moving, how much? I don't know, but it's a water-soluble Vitamin so drinking plenty of water will eliminate it anyway with no harm for my body.

When my P2 officially ends I will be for 72 hours still on the VLCD, but no HCG injections. I'm not worried about the 72hrs I have to say, I already experienced no-HCG effects for a couple of days during my period and I was ok, maybe some cravings but those come all the times, I'm taking L-Glutamine to compensate a bit, it doesn't do miracles obviously but somehow placebo-effect or not, it helps. The most important thing for me is that my binge episodes are not going to come not now or never. I want to end up feeling normal of not eating sweets or fatty junk food and not forcing myself not to do it.

This can only be achieved with time, the body needs to adjust on this new food intake lifestyle, if that makes sense, everything would become normal, reality, not privations, no frustrations on desiring what I cannot have.